The return of the intrepid explorer

I am back to my “mahaan bharat” and “namma Bengaluru” after a three month hiatus. Sure feels good to be back. Upon landing was greeted by the typical and great Bangalore weather. After being in Bangalore for 15 years and seeing it change beyond my imagination, the weather still reminds me of why I am still in love with this city. The flight was much more pleasant this time and I was saved of eating sushi in the flight for a second time. I showed an extreme foresight in informing the airlines at east one week in advance about my jehad-like hate for Japanese food and that I wish to be served only Indian vegetarian food on the flight. The otherwise good flight was only marred by a snoring man on my left and a couple on the right who was a wee bit too intimate. If I had my way there would be only aisle seats in the plane. For some inexplicable reasons, I have always found it hard to get aisle seats on a plane. Aisle seats give that extra little space to stretch your legs and make trips to the restroom easier. You don’t have to wake up a multitude of people on the way.

As a side note, I would like to add that of all the major airports that I have seen like Heathrow, LAX, CDG, Castrup, Sahar (if that one can be called major), Narita; the Changi airport is the best. Incredible facilities on the airport ranging from free internet, movie theatre, xbox & playstations and the free trip around Singapore they take you on and reasonably priced food. I had this nice ride on what is called a bum-boat. On Heathrow, you pay 1 pound for 10 minutes of internet and 2 pounds for an iced tea. I am one of those bright people who purchased this 2 pound tea. In my defence, I can say I had 2 pounds in the form of 20 coins and I needed to get rid of those since the coins were actually pulling down my trousers. Like Seinfeld once said, the airports have no idea about what the prices are in the rest of the civilized world.

Was greeted by the gang on Saturday morning. Interesting things have happened during my absence and I needed to get myself updated on these and get the views of all the people on these happenings. I felt really happy about some of these happenings. Chilli now sports a distinct Zakir Hussain look and has cemented his position as the GOD. No change in Inder at all. Finally got to see Akilles’ “specsy” look as he likes to call it. I was also enlightened about a new word that the gang has introduced, “villain”. Now villain is a very common word, but for the gang this word has many implications and a deeper meaning. I say death to most of the villains. For the concerned people, notice the usage of the word “most” in my previous statement. I guess I am getting cryptic again.

Anyway, Bangaloreans, I am back.

How I met the gang…

I was in a very nostalgic mood today after seeing the Goa photo posted by Inder on the Monkey’s Dancing blog. I have been with these guys more than one-third of my life now. Every interesting story that I have to tell will have these guys in it. Here’s how I came to meet each one of them in chronological order.

Inder: Met him in 1990 and kept on just saying occasional hi to him until 1995-97 days. Since then, one of the closest buddies I ever had. Even way back in those days I thought he was one weird dude. I still maintain this belief. He is the weirdest guy I know.

Dhi Only one: Met him in 1990-91 at the bus stop. He had the “I am the CEO and I scoff at you lesser mortals” look on the face even in those days. We were music directors together for that play way back in 1996.

Devil: My first glimpse of him was in a purple trouser while he was playing cricket at the New Public Grounds. This was somewhere in 1993. That image will be very hard to forget. Unfortunately, I don’t have this image on celluloid to show the other gang members.

Rajjo: Met him as a partner in a quiz contest in 1994. Was scared to death after seeing him. You never argue with someone who is twice your size and has had a moustache since 1st standard. Of course joking about the twice your size part, make that thrice. Hehehe!!!

Akilles: Met him in 1994 as he was looking for directions in a corridor. I showed him the directions but he refused to recognize me the next time I met him in a market. Dude..that was arrogant.

Chilli: 1995, Scene : The classroom. A quiet boy in the last bench answers the roll call. He has that intellectual look on the face. My guess was right. He is the INTELLECTUAL, of course followed by Rajjo.

Pramod: 1997. A guy comes up to me and says sorry for no apparent reason. That’s Pramod for you.


That’s all I have, folks.

Damn them Infomercials…..

Bruce Springsteen once said something about killing the TV as it had 56 channels channels but nothing really worth watching. That was a few years back though. Now there are like 100’s of channels but still nothing to watch. In India, the TV is rendered unwatchable due to the surge of the K-serials and the soaps which promote extra marital affairs, adultery, debauchery and conspiracies. The various channels like GOD TV, Maharishi channel, Sanaskara also add to this effect. In the US, there is the concept of the infomercials which only adds to the frustration & exasperation. Man, out of the 100 channels on TV at least 21 seem to be exclusively dedicated to shopping (I counted this). And the kind of ridiculous products they sell. And there’s this channel dedicated to selling knives and coins.

Picture this, the camera focuses on to a table which has thousands of knives ranging from sizes which can easily fit in your fists to sizes at which you can’t really call them knives anymore. I would call them Excaliburs or swords. The number of knives on the table is enough to fully arm an army from the dark ages. Who’s buying so many knives that the guy selling them can actually afford a TV channel for them? Have all the serial killers decided to put in a bulk order, so that they could get these knives cheaper? And these knives aren’t cheap, the smallest one costs atleast 50$ to the exacalibur which costs about 300$. And the same guy selling knives sells coins sometimes on the same channel. He sells pennies and quarters for many a dollar. I am just plain confused at this, and also speechless. Some intelligent soul can explain me as to why someone is paying dollars for the pennies.

I thought the amount of commercials they show between programs was bad in India. Its even worse out here. I was watching Friends the other day and it had had ads after every other scene. Bottom line, I am giving up TV. I am willing to make an exception for NDTV and BBC world only.

Gods and Mortals…

Our gang has been now divided into three distinct categories: the Gods, the mortals and the confused ones, who haven’t made up there mind. The Gods are solely dedicated to spreading the religion known as singularism while the mortals are trying to follow it and the confused ones, like me really don’t know what to do. This religion was started by Akilles, the God and who is now being actively supported by Chilli, the Co-God. To a certain extent I can say that some of the basic tenets of singularism were laid by the Cow and me a few years back on the way to the office (while passing Jyoti Nivas college, I might add). The idea was this, monkhood is the only option in life. By retiring to a quiet monastery in the mountains, salvation can be obtained. But somewhere along the way, we lost our belief in this concept but this concept came out in its modified form called Singularism. By 2005, the Cow and me were supposed to have started a monastery or atleast joined one. But this hasn’t yet happened. I am trying my level best not to join the gods, but it seems to be inevitable. The Gods should atleast be happy with me as I am trying to spread their message even in distant lands though I myself am not a permanent member. The Cow who is also currently in these distant lands has been given a sermon on the benefits of joining the singularism movement. With a bit of help from god and co-god, I am sure he will be convinced.

To the uninformed reader, my previous paragraph will seem like gibberish. To the informed one, it will make absolute sense. (hopefully!!)

On a completely different note, I had another road trip last week. This one being through the sylvan state of Oregon. Oregon pretty much has only trees, hills and waterfalls. Occasionally, one does see a few houses and humans amidst the trees. The place is beautiful to say the least. A roller coaster ride on the dune buggy through the sand dune beaches was the highlight of the trip. 2700 kms of distance was covered in 3 days, which easily makes this the longest road trip I have been on. A plan is forming in my head about make a hiking trip in Sikkim. From the pictures that I have seen, it looks amazing. There’s so much of India that’s yet to be explored and experienced. I think a trip to Sikkim with the gang would be one hell of an experience. What say you, guys???