“Cold”play and the truck wisdom!!

This is my 4th week with the COLD. I am now sounding like Himesh Reshammiya for 4 straight weeks. The doctor attributes it to a rather bad viral attack. Sigh!!! Chilli and the Devil saw on Monday how bad the attack was. Without trying to be gross here, me blowing my nose (trumpet if you want to call it that) sounded like a napalm strike. And of course when it rains it pours as well. The fever and the cough have also decided to join the party. When the party will get over, I can’t say for sure.

On a different note, there’s a lot of common sense to be learnt from messages on the backside of the lorries/trucks on the road. While Forrest Gump told us “Shit Happens”, an Indian truck told us in the early 80’s that “We two, ours two” which in the recent past has changed to “We two, ours one”. We can attribute this message to a very English savvy person who just literally translated the Hindi version “Hum do hamare do” to its English form. As much as the English version sounds crude, it drives home the point. The other day before my fever attack, I was enlightened by this masterpiece on a Tata truck. It went “Man is actor, God is Directer”. Notice the spelling of the word “Director”. From these trucks, I have also learnt that theres no blessing like a mother’s (“Maa ka ashirwad”) and also that if my eyes are bad then my face should be black. (A direct translation of the saying “Buri Nazar wale tera muh kala”). See, even I can translate Hindi to English..Hehe!! Or maybe it’s my delirious state that I am able to come up with crap like this.

On a second different note, Pearl Jam’s back with their new self titled album. Was disappointed a little with the album. The song worldwide suicide just sounded like some instruments being played at random without any purpose.

Wireless handsfree and shit happens again!!

I think man in general has got too techno savvy. Just 2 days ago, I noticed a certain individual using a wireless handsfree for his mobile. Now, to me this is a very ridiculous idea. Why have a wireless attachment for a wireless device? Does that small length of wire in a typical handsfree(cost Rs 50) impede your movement so much that you feel the need to get a wireless handsfree (which I am sure costs about 25-30$ atleast)?

This also reminds me a class of people riding on their bikes who just don’t want to use a handsfree while riding. Instead, they will still take the call with the phone in the left hand and ride slowly along the road as if it were a stroll in the park. These guys are very very annoying. I have decided to teach these guys a lesson. When I see such a guy in the future, I am going to ride my bike in front of him and suddenly stop so that he has to brake and since he won’t be able to use the clutch on his left hand because of the phone, his bike will come to an abrupt stop. I would love to see the look on his face then.

Coming now to the topic of “shit happens”. Shit continues to happen to me in all aspects of my life. This Wednesday was no different. I was supposed to catch a late night show of Munich. After taking 2 hours to reach home (thanks to a flooded Wilson Garden), I decided against taking the car and took my bike since it would have been faster. I also chose to take a short cut through a rather shady area (which was a fundamental error in judgement) and lo it started raining like crazy. I was forced to take shelter in a dingy pub which sold local arrack. The local street-dogs also accompanied me to this establishment for shelter. The rain gave no signs of stopping for an hour at-least. Finally; disappointed, angry (with myself of course and the goddamn rain) I decided to get drenched and head back home.

Hard Lessons learnt: Use the car if it’s around and do not venture into Ghauripalya after 8pm for any reason.

But there’s one good news atleast. I have mastered the art of sleeping in any bus. Even the new annoying FM channels can’t keep me from sleeping in the bus. I even managed to sleep in a BMTC bus for an hour last week and nearly missed my bus stop as well.

Ridiculous Laws…..

Our current government seems to be in a mood for having some ridiculous laws and acts. Their manifesto seems to be that “We shall introduce new laws which make absolutely no sense at all”. And I am not even talking about the proposed reservation bill. Too much has been said about this already and I have nothing more to add to that discussion. I am referring to a recent proposal by some hero (I don’t know who) that any letter weighing less that 300gm can be delivered only by the Indian Postal Service and not by any courier service. Should this legislation come through it will be one of the weirdest ones to happen!!

I do have respect for our postal service. I have made 22 applications to various international universities though the registered post to date and 21 of them made it to their destinations without any hassles in 7 days. That’s really good and you spend only 100rs per post. But what baffles me is the fact that a telegram sent by my grandfather to my dad informing the birth of my sister has never reached my dad 18 years later (this was in the days when there was no STD) and my dad was only 5 hours away.

But why have this new law? Why do they want to monopolise this particular post less than 300gm? What’s the significance of the 300gm? Do they find letters more than 300gms to heavy to carry? And how are they going to regulate this law? Black market courier companies will still exist since most courier agencies are owned by transport companies. This also means that mail that goes out from any company/bank/institution will now take about 3-4 days more to reach its destination. Outstation cheques will take more time to get cleared since most banks employ courier services. And the India Today magazine that I normally get by Monday will reach me by Thursday.

Someone care to give an explanation to this?